What It Means to Be Pro-Ho
I am pro-ho. Fundamentally, I never thought that being a ho was a bad thing. Unfortunately, our patriarchal society has deemed a woman’s sexuality to be taboo. Only now, 25 years into my existence as a woman on this planet, am I claiming the identity of pro-ho.
In my experience, the word ho has come to define a woman who has a lot of sexual partners. These sexual encounters could occur one at a time or simultaneously. There is absolutely no finite number that signifies when a woman becomes a ho. A woman’s vagina does not emit a warning siren after she has had sex with 5, 15, or 27 people. A woman being labeled a ho is solely based upon whatever number the person attempting to shame her comes up with.
So yall might be wondering how I came to be pro-ho. Cardi B taught me. Amber Rose taught me. Blac Chyna taught me. All three are strippers, who are honest and more or less open about their sexuality. All of these women in one way, shape or form use sex to make money. There is nothing inherently problematic with sex work. But, all of these women, have been publicly shamed by the media for being “hos”.
In spite of the hate, Amber Rose has created her own Slut Walk, Cardi B unapologetically speaks on her ho-isms via Instagram, and Blac Chyna has risen to the ranks of Queen of Petty by being engaged to her ex-fiance's ex-girlfriend’s older brother. They took the hate and shade that was being thrown at them and used it as empowerment.
The reclamation of the word ho has become essential for some women in order to own their sexuality. If being a ho means having multiple sexual partners, engaging in non-traditional acts of sex, and living in your sexual truth, than I am a ho.
People often question why I would want to call myself a ho. What is more important and significantly less frequently asked is “Why do others feel the need to call me a ho?" I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to call myself a mean name. Other people did that when they concerned themselves with my private life. I began identifying as such when I realized that there was no way that I could stop anyone from calling me a ho. Even if I decide to become celibate, society will always find a way to demonize my sexuality. I, and many women like me, have decided to reclaim the term “ho” and redefine the word as an individual who is unashamed of their honest and multi-dimensional sexuality.
The pro-ho movement makes a lot of people uncomfortable. It should. Nothing that defies societal norms can be pleasant or agreeable. There is no revolution in placidity. Utilizing the word ho in a positive manner and speaking about femme sexuality in an open and transparent way will help to destigmatize the topic.
Diary of a fast black girl is an ongoing series that will highlight the zeitgeist of the pro-ho movement through self reflection and cultural analysis. I hope that this series allows women to find power in their sexuality and not be ashamed of it.
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Melissa "Lissa Alicia" Simpson is a 23-year-old freelance journalist, media & marketing specialist, event curator and amateur model. Her interests include binge watching Dr. Who, writing creative nonfiction and street art. Find out more about Lissa at lissalicia.com. |